I recently (May 18-26) attended a service trip to Guatemala. We stayed at a local orphanage and opened a clinic everyday for a week to provide basic medical care to the local residents. It was a fantastic experience that changed how I view things for the better. I will also being doing more trips like this in the future and am now more than ever excited to finish my degree and advance.
So what changed? Well to begin with it made me realize I was judgmental of hispanics here in America. I had never liked the idea of how many shops and restaurants they had opened in the small town I spent most of my childhood in. I felt there were taking over the town and trying to change it. Their stores were over crowded and felt dirty to me. The excessive signage seemed a little extreme for me as well. I didn't realize how much I despised the culture until I returned from Guatemala and actually missed the stores and taquieras. I realized walking around a Tienda in my hometown how much I had avoided and looked down on these shops and people before I had ventured to Guatemala.
This was a hard thing for me to realize and admit to. I have always prided myself on being open and accepting of everything, ideas, cultures, etc. I liked to think I was accepting of people and their beliefs, but coming home and truly being acceptable of the Guatemalan culture made me realize how much I had Judged the Mexican culture.
Being in Guatemala for only a week I fell in love. I could move there and never come back. I would miss some of our luxuries in America and would have to adjust to the life there. I believe it would be rejuvenating to relax and not focus so much on frivolous things. The Guatemalans inspire me because they hold what's really valuable at heart unlike us Americans who tend to become sidetracked easily. I love the simplicity and realism in their lives and was the happiest I believe I have ever been while I was their. My attitude was calmer, I enjoyed the simplest things more and didn't focus on the luxuries.
Now that I have had the valuable lesson about myself that I didn't know I needed I will be open minded about everything I can and be honest with myself when I don't think I can be. I will also work to change my view if I don't feel I can accept something. I also plan to learn Spanish. I have come to see the language as beautiful. I believe that is about all for now. :)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Update to 2013
Well I have not ranted or raved for almost two years on here. Maybe I have learned to be content or maybe I completely forgot about it and have been tied up with life. The later is the most honest, I continue to rant and rave. Well in the last two years I have changed a lot! I am currently entering my last semester of nursing school (graduate Dec. 14)!! I have also learned a lot and changed some of my views on things. I am not a different person just changed. As we learn we evolve, mostly our thinking evolves but that is what changes us. I see some things differently and have learned to look at others in a new light. I started college almost four years ago with a specific (and small minded) view of the world. I have learned that this is not the best way to think or view things. One needs to be open to all possibilities.
I used to pride myself on being open minded and able to accept the world as it is and even try to improve it instead of fight it. I have come to realize recently that I never truly was open minded back then. I have been slowly progressing over the last four years but I now realize I am just skimming the surface and have a long way to go to be fully open minded and content with myself as I believed I was. For instance my previous post about abortion is ludicrous! everything I said was pretty much contradictory. I was saying don't use it as birth control but yet I was! I now actually know where I stand for the time being. It is wrong to use it as birth control, I still strongly believe that. I do understand some people don't see that as what they are doing and it is not my place to judge them but to educate them and help them make the right decisions for themselves. I do feel that my husband and I are not in a place to have more children and I don't believe we want to have more unless we adopt, so we are taking precautions. The correct thing to do in my opinion. I also feel that it is not necessarily a good thing that we created abortion. I have come to this conclusion on my own and feel even without a religious aspect that it is not right. It is against nature to destroy a life. However this is my own opinion on the action. I will never try to make that decision for another woman and only hope to help educate her to make her own opinion and decision.
Well small vent over and will write more on other epiphanies of recent ventures later. :-)
I used to pride myself on being open minded and able to accept the world as it is and even try to improve it instead of fight it. I have come to realize recently that I never truly was open minded back then. I have been slowly progressing over the last four years but I now realize I am just skimming the surface and have a long way to go to be fully open minded and content with myself as I believed I was. For instance my previous post about abortion is ludicrous! everything I said was pretty much contradictory. I was saying don't use it as birth control but yet I was! I now actually know where I stand for the time being. It is wrong to use it as birth control, I still strongly believe that. I do understand some people don't see that as what they are doing and it is not my place to judge them but to educate them and help them make the right decisions for themselves. I do feel that my husband and I are not in a place to have more children and I don't believe we want to have more unless we adopt, so we are taking precautions. The correct thing to do in my opinion. I also feel that it is not necessarily a good thing that we created abortion. I have come to this conclusion on my own and feel even without a religious aspect that it is not right. It is against nature to destroy a life. However this is my own opinion on the action. I will never try to make that decision for another woman and only hope to help educate her to make her own opinion and decision.
Well small vent over and will write more on other epiphanies of recent ventures later. :-)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Why complain??
Ok this too is coming from someone I know. They have been married for 3 yrs or so and both she and him are great people. They have their flaws and what not but all in all good people. She is always online complaining how she wished she had a more romantic husband and she always feels alone and blah blah. She was the girl in high school constantly talking about marriage and didn't talk about her dream guy just her dream life and the guy didn't matter. I mean she had her wedding dress her junior year of high school and she didn't even have a boyfriend! Now she is married to a guy that loves her and though he isn't perfect he tries. Even if he wasn't all that he deserves better than to be degraded because he isn't mister perfect from a movie. Seriously?? Be thankful he isn't cruel, abusive in any form, greedy, or anything else. Not to mention he is a very handsome man... and she is complaining!!! I love My husband! No he isn't the sweetest or most romantic but he does things that I know are for me only and he works his butt off to support me, let's me do whatever I want, always puts my son and I first, puts up with all my issues and attitude problems and he never complains!! I am honest to God not lying when I say I couldn't not have dreamed up a better man! He is my other half and exactly perfect for me! And I can't live without him. Even when we are fighting mad he is exactly what I need. This is how all married people should feel to me. If you don't feel some version of this towards your spouse then why are you getting married??? There is no reason to be degrading another person because of your expectations. I mean you have a house and just got a new car. Obviously your life isn't that bad. Why can't people just be happy they have what they have? If it is really that bad then change it! I know of someone that would love to be in her shoes with a loving husband.
Sorry just needed to vent! Hope you all have a great week! =D
Sorry just needed to vent! Hope you all have a great week! =D
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Is it wrong??
Is it wrong to seriously not want anymore children. To the point of considering abortion. First of all we have decided we don't want to have anymore children at all. Yes it could change later but with the way we both feel I highly doubt that it will. Since we are young we cannot have any procedures to prevent pregnancy unless we had more children which we don't. So what are we supposed to do? Our views of abortion have changed a lot in the last 2 years. Between being more educated and the experiences we have had we don't feel it is the horrible thing that we thought it to be. We consider abortion one of our options now. I still don't like the idea of abortion being used as birth control but I don't feel that is how it is being used in our situation and others like ours. We can't afford the monthly birth control or the procedures like I mentioned so what are we to do? And everyone knows that no matter how on top of birth control you are or if you use condoms and the like religiously you can still end up pregnant. They are not fool proof. So honestly we do what we can but we don't have control over it. Which is why I am wondering if it is seriously that wrong to want an abortion if we both feel so strongly and have decided together this is what we want? I know that it is our decision and no one can tell us what to do but it really irks me that others can't understand where we are coming from.
Other reasons for the no more children decision is that in the next 2.5 years of school I can't be pregnant. I will have to put school on hold until the baby is born because I can't be pregnant during clinicals. Seems selfish not to want to wait but also who would be able to take care of the baby like he/she should be taken care of if I am back in school and he works all the time? Plus we are struggling to afford everything for the three of us as it is now adding a baby would make things beyond tight and both children would suffer. I decided long ago that I will not have children if I cannot provide their needs and some wants comfortably. We are doing alright and making it through with just one right now and after I graduate it will be a little easier but having another would drastically change that. Plus this world is not in the shape it was. Between the poverty, fighting, and criminal activities I don't know that I would want to subject another child to that anyway.
All in all it is our decision and no one else will affect what we decide I just can't comprehend why others think it is so dire wrong to have an abortion. Again my opinion and we all know what those are like! We are all entitled to our own opinion but we should have enough respect for others to see that they feel differently and accept that. It's not like we are making you do something we want. =)
Just needed to vent! Have a good day everyone!
Other reasons for the no more children decision is that in the next 2.5 years of school I can't be pregnant. I will have to put school on hold until the baby is born because I can't be pregnant during clinicals. Seems selfish not to want to wait but also who would be able to take care of the baby like he/she should be taken care of if I am back in school and he works all the time? Plus we are struggling to afford everything for the three of us as it is now adding a baby would make things beyond tight and both children would suffer. I decided long ago that I will not have children if I cannot provide their needs and some wants comfortably. We are doing alright and making it through with just one right now and after I graduate it will be a little easier but having another would drastically change that. Plus this world is not in the shape it was. Between the poverty, fighting, and criminal activities I don't know that I would want to subject another child to that anyway.
All in all it is our decision and no one else will affect what we decide I just can't comprehend why others think it is so dire wrong to have an abortion. Again my opinion and we all know what those are like! We are all entitled to our own opinion but we should have enough respect for others to see that they feel differently and accept that. It's not like we are making you do something we want. =)
Just needed to vent! Have a good day everyone!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
What Happened?
Why is divorce so popular these days?
What happened to those vows meaning something??
I can understand people grow apart and things happen or abuse, but just because you are going through a rough time or not getting along well right now doesn't mean you need to get a divorce and give up. Most of the time you married that person for a reason and that reason is why you should try harder. It used to be that if something was wrong or one of the involved had issues then it was time for counseling or some sort of change but you stuck beside each other through it and were even stronger and more 'in love' than before.
For example, I know a couple in their 50's that were married young and have 4 children together. They had some really rough times and he had a major temper problem. Never abusive but had issues. She didn't leave she stood by him and helped while he went to classes and such to help him learn to control himself better. Neither of them up and walked away because of it. They also have never been rich or seemed like the most obvious match but I can see more love and devotion between the two of them than I do with couples who swear they are so madly in love and would never be without the other. They have more affection and respect for each other than most couples I know. You would never know today that they had such a troubling issue.
I also know a couple in their 20's who have been married for 2 ish years now and knew each other about a yr. before that and are now getting a divorce because of his 'anger' issues. I know everyone is different and no one will ever know him like she does but have they tried working on it? It doesn't seem that way to everyone outside looking in. I knew the male for 4 yrs. during school and while he was somewhat of a control freak on somethings never seemed to be as much as she is saying him to be. I know that people are different and change and blah blah, but he has not even mentioned this as an issue as to why they are splitting and it is all she can talk about, she doesn't give any other reason. He stated a couple days ago that he was going to start some anger management classes and possibly a therapist to try to correct his "invisible problem" as he stated and all she said was good luck but it will never help. Seriously???
The point is that Marriage is more than just a piece of paper or name change. It is work and a lot of it. Trust me I know it is not some walk in the park. We have a lot of "hmmm?" moments. We have always just figured it out or waited till we cooled off for better perspective. I don't understand why divorce has become this new fad or why marriage has lost it sacredness. I am not crazy though. I do believe that if there is nothing left and you have tried and tried and both of you agree that there is no reason left or you are only together because it is socially unacceptable to be divorced that you should be divorced. There is no point in wasting either party's time. With that said be very selective and careful with who you marry and this should not be a problem.
As for cheating.... this is a weird one for me. I have many view points and I believe it all depends on the situation. Why are they cheating? Are you not doing something? Are they just trying to hurt you? Are they adventurous and tried talking to you about this?... I will leave this alone because it is a whole new subject in itself but think about why they are acting this way before you point fingers.
I guess that is all for today. Hope everyone Has a great weekend! Happy Birthday America!!! =)
What happened to those vows meaning something??
I can understand people grow apart and things happen or abuse, but just because you are going through a rough time or not getting along well right now doesn't mean you need to get a divorce and give up. Most of the time you married that person for a reason and that reason is why you should try harder. It used to be that if something was wrong or one of the involved had issues then it was time for counseling or some sort of change but you stuck beside each other through it and were even stronger and more 'in love' than before.
For example, I know a couple in their 50's that were married young and have 4 children together. They had some really rough times and he had a major temper problem. Never abusive but had issues. She didn't leave she stood by him and helped while he went to classes and such to help him learn to control himself better. Neither of them up and walked away because of it. They also have never been rich or seemed like the most obvious match but I can see more love and devotion between the two of them than I do with couples who swear they are so madly in love and would never be without the other. They have more affection and respect for each other than most couples I know. You would never know today that they had such a troubling issue.
I also know a couple in their 20's who have been married for 2 ish years now and knew each other about a yr. before that and are now getting a divorce because of his 'anger' issues. I know everyone is different and no one will ever know him like she does but have they tried working on it? It doesn't seem that way to everyone outside looking in. I knew the male for 4 yrs. during school and while he was somewhat of a control freak on somethings never seemed to be as much as she is saying him to be. I know that people are different and change and blah blah, but he has not even mentioned this as an issue as to why they are splitting and it is all she can talk about, she doesn't give any other reason. He stated a couple days ago that he was going to start some anger management classes and possibly a therapist to try to correct his "invisible problem" as he stated and all she said was good luck but it will never help. Seriously???
The point is that Marriage is more than just a piece of paper or name change. It is work and a lot of it. Trust me I know it is not some walk in the park. We have a lot of "hmmm?" moments. We have always just figured it out or waited till we cooled off for better perspective. I don't understand why divorce has become this new fad or why marriage has lost it sacredness. I am not crazy though. I do believe that if there is nothing left and you have tried and tried and both of you agree that there is no reason left or you are only together because it is socially unacceptable to be divorced that you should be divorced. There is no point in wasting either party's time. With that said be very selective and careful with who you marry and this should not be a problem.
As for cheating.... this is a weird one for me. I have many view points and I believe it all depends on the situation. Why are they cheating? Are you not doing something? Are they just trying to hurt you? Are they adventurous and tried talking to you about this?... I will leave this alone because it is a whole new subject in itself but think about why they are acting this way before you point fingers.
I guess that is all for today. Hope everyone Has a great weekend! Happy Birthday America!!! =)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Who says
Who says we have to feel a certain way when our children are born? Did you feel that instant bond? I don't believe it is actually instant. It is foreign... trying to associate a new name with this new person. They have no attributes for us to connect with yet. I don't believe that strong bond is there till later when they start becoming who they are. I do believe that we all have protective instincts and care for them but I think that is just the way we are programmed as mammals. This protectiveness is how most animals work. correct?? Anyway something to think about. =)
Hello World!
Well I have been wishing for some time now that I had a place to just let everything out without being judged on how I see or feel about things. I have used the journal/diary for a couple years and while it helps me deal with emotions it doesn't get my thoughts out there like I would like. So that is why I created this page. I am still new to the blogging world and have much to learn. My hope is to see if I am crazy for these thoughts and feelings or just the only one willing to speak them out loud. It will be a crazy journey venturing into this intellect of mine but I feel it is necessary for me. If something offends you then please stop reading. I am not here to offend or cause issues. If you care to leave comments or interact feel free but do so tastefully please. Thanks for reading and I hope you can get something out of this journey as well! =)
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