Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What Happened?

  Why is divorce so popular these days?
  What happened to those vows meaning something??
    I can understand people grow apart and things happen or abuse, but just because you are going through a rough time or not getting along well right now doesn't mean you need to get a divorce and give up. Most of the time you married that person for a reason and that reason is why you should try harder. It used to be that if something was wrong or one of the involved had issues then it was time for counseling or some sort of change but you stuck beside each other through it and were even stronger and more 'in love' than before.
    For example, I know a couple in their 50's that were married young and have 4 children together. They had some really rough times and he had a major temper problem. Never abusive but had issues. She didn't leave she stood by him and helped while he went to classes and such to help him learn to control himself better. Neither of them up and walked away because of it. They also have never been rich or seemed like the most obvious match but I can see more love and devotion between the two of them than I do with couples who swear they are so madly in love and would never be without the other. They have more affection and respect for each other than most couples I know. You would never know today that they had such a troubling issue.
    I also know a couple in their 20's who have been married for 2 ish years now and knew each other about a yr. before that and are now getting a divorce because of his 'anger' issues. I know everyone is different and no one will ever know him like she does but have they tried working on it? It doesn't seem that way to everyone outside looking in. I knew the male for 4 yrs. during school and while he was somewhat of a control freak on somethings never seemed to be as much as she is saying him to be. I know that people are different and change and blah blah, but he has not even mentioned this as an issue as to why they are splitting and it is all she can talk about, she doesn't give any other reason. He stated a couple days ago that he was going to start some anger management classes and possibly a therapist to try to correct his "invisible problem" as he stated and all she said was good luck but it will never help. Seriously???
    The point is that Marriage is more than just a piece of paper or name change. It is work and a lot of it. Trust me I know it is not some walk in the park. We have a lot of "hmmm?" moments. We have always just figured it out or waited till we cooled off for better perspective. I don't understand why divorce has become this new fad or why marriage has lost it sacredness. I am not crazy though. I do believe that if there is nothing left and you have tried and tried and both of you agree that there is no reason left or you are only together because it is socially unacceptable to be divorced that you should be divorced. There is no point in wasting either party's time. With that said be very selective and careful with who you marry and this should not be a problem.
   As for cheating.... this is a weird one for me. I have many view points and I believe it all depends on the situation. Why are they cheating? Are you not doing something? Are they just trying to hurt you? Are they adventurous and tried talking to you about this?... I will leave this alone because it is a whole new subject in itself but think about why they are acting this way before you point fingers.
    I guess that is all for today. Hope everyone Has a great weekend! Happy Birthday America!!! =)
 

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